Post-partum post

I am at the point where I might be ready to admit that I don't really blog anymore.
Which makes me super sad. Because I actually dig blogging. I love reading blogs... and I love writing them even more.
I could blame Instagram. I could blame motherhood. I could even blame my (hopefully temporary) loss of interest in photography... but I won't. It's all on me. And that's probably okay.

Anyway, I totally had another baby. A boy. He's perfect and we call him Mark. His full name is Markham Reid Carter and I just love him. He was born on March 4th, 2013. He weighed 7 lbs. 3 oz. and was 20 1/2 in. Labor was induced and was easy peasy. I wish my epidural had been a little stronger, but I really can't complain. Mark is healthy and perfect and just all-around beautiful.

Life is a little strange right now. I've dealt with some post-partum issues in the past and I'm dealing with them now... although at this point I feel really lucky and blessed. I haven't been as "weepy" as I have been in the past and I catch myself enjoying life more often than not--which is good. I can't take credit for any of it... I have had a lot of help. My mom stayed with us for a week. Then, Blaine took a week off to stay home and cater to our every whim. Then, my MIL was here for a week as well. She actually left this morning... and while I feel a little panicky at the thought of going it solo starting tomorrow, I know that three kids is my "new normal" and that the best thing to do is just ball-up and jump in. It will be okay. Mark is about three weeks old now and March is nearly over. I love this little March baby... and I find such solace thinking about where I was a year ago: I had just lost a baby and was having a hard time coping. Sometimes life doesn't make any sense... then you find yourself looking into your newborn's eyes--knowing that you are this little person's entire universe and suddenly "making sense" doesn't matter at all anymore.


The next few weeks (months? years?) may be long and difficult, but I (hopefully) know enough about it to know it's really fun too. I hope I can be a fun mom more often, and much more intuitive to my children's needs. I hope I can feel rested and active enough for them. I hope I can be healthy and happy enough for their sake too. They deserve a mom that feels sane at least most of the time. :)

I don't know if this is our last baby or not. As much as I love being a mom, I'm constantly terrified that I'm actually terrible at it. I am not a patient person and three might just be my limit, but God knows how much I love these kids. And though I know I can be a crappy mother sometimes, this family of mine is my whole world. My heart and soul are very full and for now, that's enough to feed me for a lifetime.

Baby's first bath

We gave Mark his first bath... Big brother Jakey was happy to help out. 

Man, we love this little baby boy. 

Baby's first photo shoot

I should probably have titles this post, "Ripped off... but worth it". 

As if the damn hospitals (and insurance company) aren't getting enough of our money, we decided to pay the photographer that contracts with them as well.

Oh well... at least it gets some pictures of this baby boy up on my walls. 

We sure love Mark.