"...That's me in the spotlight..."Okay, so I don't feel like I am "Losing My Religion" (thank you R.E.M. for your input tonight), but I definitely am feeling a little lost. I have come to the devastating epiphany that I am a phony. I am an English major *slash* English teacher (still claiming it), and I feel like my writing skills are circling the drain.
I think I used to write some decent stuff. I wrote countless articles--hell, sometimes entire sections as Life Editor of The College Times. I spent hours upon hours writing essays and papers analyzing things like feminism in a post-structuralist world...whatever that means. I once even devoted a final paper in a British Literature class successfully linking Mary Shelley's Frankenstein to Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol. It was really good too.
So, what to do, what to do? I think I need to really work on this. As a kid I was a pretty good artist. I don't know why, but for some reason I stopped drawing and now I honestly can't do it anymore. How sad is that? Writing is something I really love and I don't want to realize in a decade that I simply lost the taste for it. I guess then I'd be really pathetic.
For what it's worth, your blog is always so well constructed! I love reading it!
ReplyDeleteYou are...and always have been...multi-talented! I know how you feel, though. I remember putting things on hold (because of circumstances in life)and then coming back to it and thinking "I can't do this anymore"...only to find out that I needed to take the time to remember how to to do it again and to regain my confidence. For what it's worth....try some of your old "loves" (talents)and keep practicing. You'll be glad that you did. I think that you are awesome! I have always admired how talented and put together you are. Enjoy Jake's blessing day. I wish that we could be there. Love you! Lara
ReplyDeleteI love your post, and it is axactly how I feel sometimes. I have put a lot of different things on hold. I used to hate it when people would ask me if I was going to be in another show, or perform somewhere, not that I am in high demand or anything, but it was something that i enjoyed. I realize that I have to set aside time for things that I like to do. There is nothing wrong with that. You are so talented and beautiful, and have such a wonderful handsome man to show for all the hard work that you have been doing lately. Don't sell yourself short. Start writing children's stories or something so you can read them to Jake. :) I sure love ya Licia
ReplyDeleteHmmm... Now you've got me thinking about this, and am now ALSO feeling guilty and like I'm wasting similar talents. (Thanks, btw.) Honestly, try some of these out again! You ARE talented and always do well with anything you try.
ReplyDeletePs. Hope you're having fun in Washington!
umm. i've always been in love w/ you and blaine, but i'm super in love with your little one. i miss you and want to come and meet your spawn!
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself - let's just remember that you are sleep deprived, devoting every last waking and well sleeping moment to this new little jellybean, and life still is very much trying to settle and find it's solid ground again (can you tell I am NOT a writer!). If you have an extra minute, take a nap - and if you have another minute, then yes, pick up the pen and give it a go. You are and have always oozed with talent - it's there... just sitting backseat to baby, and that is okay.
ReplyDeleteDitto.
ReplyDeleteI think you should submit essays to a literary magazine or something... it won't pay the bills, but isn't that what husbands are for? :)
ReplyDeletethat is so awesome that you were an english teacher!!! YOU ROCK!! I have always thought you were so creative - even way back in elementary!! :)
ReplyDeleteMany creative geniuses struggle with such a feeling after experiencing an emotional rollercoaster (pregnancy, newborn, etc.)
ReplyDeleteIt is sometimes referred to as "The Darkest Din". The "numbing before a creative storm". Its mind-crushing gravity is only temporary and usually a sign for exceptional work to begin.
Good luck wayfarer.
CALM THE HELL DOWN!!!
ReplyDeleteYour just going through post maternal 'I'M NOT ACHIEVEING ENOUGH' syndrome.
Can't you just train to run a marathon, take a photography class, or learn how to be the HOLIEST lady on the block....like everybody else? There's also some room left in the food storage and canning clubs....
Maybe you can start editing everyone lame comments....see, look up....how many errors can you find Eglo major?
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh. I am laughing so hard at Dee right now. :)
ReplyDeleteIs it too late for a comment on the subject? In my opinion, it's like riding a bike. Just get back on the talentcycle and it will come back. The ability is still within you so practice, practice, practice! And yes, there are many other things on your symbolic plate right now, so all in good time dear, all in good time.
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