Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Awkward Encounters

These are too good not to share:

The other day while at the grocery store check-out, I made the decision to push Jake through the right side of check-out stand, rather than the left-cart-grocery-loading-side because Jake was trying to climb out of his buckled seat to stand up in the front of the cart.
I was only getting a couple of things, so I knew it wasn't a really big deal to throw the couple of grocery bags in the back on the way out the door...
So, I explained myself to the cashier--telling him that I didn't want my little boy trying to climb out of the cart without me standing there to regulate; to which he replied, "That's okay... you don't want him falling--then you'd have yourself a retard." {Um... are you serious???!!!} I tried to "politely" laugh it off and not make eye contact with this dude, but he kept on going on about how falling can turn a kid "retarded." {I totally hate this word, by the way.}
Wow. Thanks, cashier man.

The other night I was trying on a cute cardigan at Downeast Outfitters, and was trying to decide between two sizes.
When I tried on the bigger one, the sales-girl asked me why I was doing so. I told her I just didn't know which one looked better, and she said, "Definitely the smaller one. It makes you look pregnant instead of just fat."
{HAHAHA... for real???!!! Who is this girl?}
I think she realized how she sounded because she started back-pedaling like crazy, "I mean--not that you look fat--I just didn't know how to say it--um--sorry..." I politely laughed it off and told her we were cool.
It was actually pretty funny and I really wasn't mad about it. It just made me laugh.

The other night {same night as "fat" night}, Blaine, Jake and I were strolling around Gateway Mall...
We were approaching a couple and I noticed that the guy was lingering back a little from the girl. I then watched him stick his hand and arm {like--elbow deep!!!} down his pants to adjust himself, then quick-stepped to catch up to her.
C'mon, dude... there's gotta be a better way to adjust your junk so I don't have to see it.

All in all... hilarious.


Becca Jo said...

Ah what a life! ;) I hate seeing men arrange the junk. It's sick.

LEE BIEN said...

Have you noticed that when people say stupid things, and then realize that the conversation has become awkward, they keep elaborating in an effort to "fix it" instead of just shutting up? I'm sure I've been guilty but sometimes it's best to just stop.

Rachael said...

Ha Ha Ha!!!!! Definitely too good to not share!

Seriously - where do these people come from??????????????/

Laurel said...

Just for the record, I think you are BEAUTIFUL pregnant. :)

And scenario 'A' might have been funny had the cashier pronounced it 'ri-TARD'. MIGHT have been funny... ;)

Kristin and Guy said...

All I can say is "wow". People are so funny sometimes. Definitely too good to not share.

p.s. Did your due date change?

Amy said...

I may or may not have implied that a peep toe shoe a woman was trying on made her foot look like a hoof. In case there was any confusion, I tried to create a visual by forming my fingers to look like a hoof. My defense? 1) She asked for my "honest opinion" 2) You can't fit a size 10 foot in a size 8 shoe and 3) I was in a mood. The most awkward part was that she still purchased the shoes. Apparently she doesn't care that she looks like a centaur.

Jacquee said...

way to laugh off the "fat" pregnant comment. You're nicer than I am. I might have faked some pregnant emotions just to make her feel bad....or I might not have had any control over the emotions, who knows?

As for "retard" dude, I hear ya. I hate that word. It's right up there with "gay" in my book.

Markelle said...

I'm laughing so hard at Amy's comment. HA!

well your nephew almost became a tard (that felt wrong) the other day at the store. Being the wonderful parent that I am, I let Jack in the big part of the cart. Long story short, he fell out but luckily landed on the bakery table. I know, I am freakishly lucky.

I love/hate awkward encounters, but they do make things interesting.

Scott and Megan said...

oh my good gosh! I love stories like this!!! It validates the thoughts I have in dealing with patients. It's so funny that you laugh and then kinda wanna kill them at the same time. LOVE IT!

Alicia said...

Yes-- my due date is officially now the 13th of May. My Dr. said it would be better if I was mentally prepared for mid-May. Boo.

Candice said...

I going to take a wild guess here and ask if the grocery store was WalMart. I know at my Walmart, the cashiers must have been dropped on their heads a few times, either that or crystal meth.

dxeechick said...

Wow-a wee-wa. As my aunt would say "I sometimes think people get up in the morning and have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast".

I concur, Aunt D. I concur.

Matt and Brianna said...

I am constantly amazed at what people say!! I had both my boys in the shopping cart at the store and some old lady said to me while pointing to Jack, "he's adorable!" So I turned to her to thank her and then she continued on pointing to Joe, "not him, but HIM" (pointing back at Jack)I was like serious? You really had to add that last little bit? I just told her thanks but I think they are BOTH adorable!!

Mike and Lara said...

loved your post! Totally had an awkward encounter today. I was at a beauty supply store buying shampoo and stuff and was looking at some facial soap samples. I have been having some crazy breakouts lately and was seriously considering buying some new facial soap to help. I asked the girl behind the counter if this certain soap was a good which she replied..."Yes, it's awesome...but, we have another product line more age appropriate for ladies like yourself." To which I replied..."You mean "OLD"?!" She about died....turned five shades of red and totally starts sputtering out apologies. I thought that the whole ting was funny. But, geez. Seriously? Needless to say, I did not buy any soap out of sheer defiance. And, I am in DENIAL. I'm still holding on to 17 and probably always will. Ok...maybe 29. Aging stinks! I'll be danged if I don't go down without a fight. Where is that swimming pool from Cocoon anyway?
By the way, I think that you are beautiful! I always have!
I love you!
Larabelle :)